Below are the 11 most recent journal entries recorded in Erin's LiveJournal:

Sunday, July 17th, 2005
7:38 pm	Good day! I drove up to Albany today with my dad and Bianca and met up with my grade 10 teacher from Hayward when I was homeschooled. We went to my favourite cafe in the whole world!!! Best grilled cheese and home fries EVER!!! And then we went to the marina in Berkeley and walked along the pier. It was a blast! The weather up there is so much nicer... Cooler, with a breeze! Not friggin' 105 degrees farenheit/45 celcius like it is down here in San Jose!! AND on the way home my dad let me stop in Hayward to get the BEST burrito in the world!!!!!!!! So I brought it home so I could have an awesome dinner!! My 2 favourite meals in 1 day!! I am SOOOOOOO happy!!! :o) Bianca's slept the entire day. All the car rides, in the cafe, and now even at home, and in this rediculous heat! I hope nothing's wrong..... :o( Current Mood: chipper (Comment on this)
5:28 pm	fill this out :) 1. Who are you? 2. Are we friends? 3. When and how did we meet? 4. Do you have a crush on me? 5. Would you kiss me? 6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. 7. Describe me in one word. 8. What was your first impression? 9. Do you still think that way about me now? 10. What reminds you of me? 11. If you could give me anything what would it be? 12. How well do you know me? 13. When's the last time you saw me? 14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? 15. Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you? 16. What is your best memory we have together? 17. If i was a piece of gum, and you found me stuck under a desk.. would you pick me off and chew me? 19. If i was stung by a jellyfish.. would you pee on it? 20. do you hate me? Current Mood: giddy (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 13th, 2005
6:28 pm	Trip On a good note- I will have the house to myself pretty much for 3 weeks because my family is going to Toronto :o) So I can relax, run around naked if I want, and just, ahhhh, relax.......... :o) Crazyness happend today! My friend Maura from Hayward that I haven't talked to in 5 years msg'd me on My Space today!!!! I am so excited to hear from her. We didn't really leave on good terms, but I'm hoping we can start talking again and be friends again! She has a 2 1/2 year old daughter she said, so I think that's cool we both have daughters!! Current Mood: happy (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 9th, 2005
12:48 pm	2 different My Spaces?! What the heck So after about an hour conversation on and off with Amber, trying to figure out why the heck we can't find each other on 'My Space', it's because señor dumbass over here didn't know that there's one for MSN Hotmail and Messenger, and then there's actually www.myspace.com which is american I believe. Took about 2 hours for me to figure out... What a waste of a night... Current Mood: irritated (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 30th, 2005
6:27 pm	Guys and there shlongs... As I roll my eyes with a typical guy conversation that I'm having over MSN, and discust because this guy is only my friend, who I see once a year if I come to Toronto to visit. Never been interested in more than friends... He has been since we met. We hit an awkward "MSN silence" in our conversation, so I said, "i just ate a donut, it was friggin' great! it was a chocolate covered donut with cream in the middle *drool :)" and he replys with, "u ever see that pic of my dick?" God. My fault for mentioning good food when I eat it... ?! "u wanna see it?", "ummmmmmmm no it's ok hahaha". "why do you want me to see it anyway??", "im single your single." Like that's an excuse. They all look the same to me anyway!! "it's probably not even yours it's probably some porn star that you copied and pasted over yours lol, BUT if it IS really yours, then you're going to ask me all about it and if it's big enough, and i don't want to have that kind of pressure on me! haha not only because i dont care but because i don't need a random dick on my conputer.(and my motto is, it's not how big it is, it's what you can do with it that counts!!!) so no pic will "impress" me hun" Then he sends it and said, "great now i have to figure out how 2 delete it so my dad doesnt find it" and then he says, "so is it good?" Stupid boys. And sure enough, it looks similar enough too the others Ive seen... Anyone know how to permanitly ...god my spelling is bad right now... delete photos from the recycle bin? Current Mood: irritated (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 23rd, 2005
2:36 pm	Periods part 2 ...And I do feel gypped... I did get my period 5 weeks after I gave birth and I am NOT impressed because my sister still hasnt gotten hers and Sam is 14 months old!! And my mom said she didnt get hers for 9-10 months after all of us. But of course, "everybody's different"! LOL Current Mood: annoyed (Comment on this)
2:26 pm	Mrs. Doubtfire Best movie ever!! I love watching movies now, that I saw when I was little and actually understanding more than hlf the movie on a different level because I am older! For instance the scene where Mrs. Doubtfire and Sally Field are in the kitchen having a womanly conversation and she says, "how did Mr. Doubtfire pass on?" Mrs. D says, "he was quite fond of the drink" (or something like that) and Sally Field says, "oh i'm sorry, he was an alcoholic?" and she says, "no, he was hit by a Guiness truck" HAHAHAHA I can't remember the last time I just killed myself laughing watching a movie with my brother! Good times ;) Current Mood: silly (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 21st, 2005
1:02 pm	periods I had the worst cramps ever the other day. Couldn't believe it. I haven't gotten them since grade 8/9 when I first got my period. It has been so light, and not a hassle for a few years, THEN I am pregnant and don't have to put up with any of that since last July with the acception of horrible back contractions when I was in labour. But my god! The other day I thought I couldn't move it hurt so bad. And now today I wake up, and I see blood! Damnit! But there's a chance that it's not my period, because it's not heavy by any means, and my sister said she bled for 2 months after she gave birth... ANd it's only been 5 1/2 weeks for me... So maybe it's nothing. I just hate feeling this way. I've been so emotional and so damn irritable for the past couple of days. EVERYTHING is pissing me off. I went to the gym yesterday (stupidly at 3pm when it starts to get busy) and there was no ski machines. EVERY friggin' one was taken! I wanted to break down and throw a temper tantrum right in the middle of the floor until someone gave me one! And even worse, my mom was in the cafe watching BIanca, and I could tell she didn't want to be there. So I was already feeling guilty. But then I feel even more horrible because I don't want to take it out on Bianca and I don't want to be cranky or ever have her think that I coudln't take care of her on my own. But because I've been PMSing I feel like I am not being a good parent because I'm getting stressed out and feel like I need some help. But I don't want help. I want to do it on my own. Oh, and the scaryest thing happend the other night. I felt so anxious, like when I've been at my worst and feel like someone or some thing is watching me through the walls or the tv. But this time it was even worse because I felt like someone was watching Bianca. I just could not relax. I havent felt anything like that since before I was pregnant! I spent over an hour trying to decide if I should take my medication (xanax) or not. I had some from last year as an on-the-spot, once-in-a-while anxiety reliever. But here I'm thiunking what if it goes through my breast milk and effects her?! But I finally took one, and justified it by realizing that if I can't properly look after her because I am freaking out, then taking one wont be my doing anythng but taking responcibility for my problem so that I can take care of Bianca the best I can. I just want to be a good parent, but I want to be able to tell her that I can do it myself. That I was successful without a "daddy" for her. Maybe thats whats stresssing me out... Current Mood: cranky (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, June 13th, 2005
9:44 pm	Stupid credit card telemarketers!!! Stupid stupid stupid! So this barely English speaking woman calls me the other day, when I'm stressing out about 100 other things, on my way out the door, and trying to feed Bianca all at the same time, to tell me about this stupid Protection Plan for my Visa so that if I loose my job or am disabled or blah blah blah then I can hold my monthly payments for up to a year* BUT it costs 9.99 a month, and there's a hole bunch of stupid things that go along with it that make it a scam basically. Now, I know all about it, because someone phoned me a month ago asking me to sign up and I said NO! So right away, I said, Thank you, I am not interested. And she kept me on the phone with their bullshit, "Well if... blah blah blah..." So I said again, "Now is not a good time, I am not interested, thank you." Then she says she has to verify my mailing address and phone number and name and all that crap. So I'm sitting here stressing out going, yes yes yes and said I have to go now. "Yes, I'm sorry to take up your time Ms. Lambert..." In a thick accent. "But blah blah blah... We're going to mail you a copy of this protection plan for you to look over and if you want to sign up then call us." "Ok, so I'm not agreeing to anything now, because I told you I'm not interested." I get in the mail today a package thanking me for signing up for their fucking protection plan! Costing me such and such fees, and I have to call this 1-800# if I am going to cancel, but can't do it before 30 days of trying it out! FUCKERS! I am on hold for 22 minutes waiting to talk to somebody and just want to kill this lady who I talked too the other day- And I get disconnected. Oh, and then it's not buisness hours anymore so a recording tells me to call back during buisness hours. She better pray there isn't something on my account that shows which person called me because SHE IS SO FIRED if there is!!! I bet she did it because there wasn't the thing before our conversation that said thsi call might be monitered or recorded... So she could sign me up and get her friggin' commition and there's no proof that I said yes. BITCH. Current Mood: pissed off (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, June 11th, 2005
10:52 pm	Cousin Just had an awesome conversation with Carey over MSN. I feel like it doesn't happen enough. It's so weird because I feel like our brains click somehow and we're very much alike. It's probably true, because we're family... But it's just so interesting to me because I don't talk to ANYONE else the way I can talk to him. It's just like, hey, things are like this, it's either great, or it sucks, but it's all out on the table and then analyse why. You're a great person, and you help me realise that there's just stupid shit out there that you can't change, and what's important is how you deal with it. You make me laugh, probably more than you know. And I've always felt like we could just talk for hours on end and I for one never would feel like it's a waste of time! (ahem... accept maybe if it's useless chatter about Punk'd or Full House LOL) I love you, Care! Do what makes you happy- Go spend some time with Julie! I've never met her, but I can tell you care so much about her. SMile! Current Mood: grateful (Comment on this)
5:44 pm	Different lifestyle I went to the gym this afternoon and mum watched the baby for 45 min so I could work out (even though I'm not supposed to for another 3 weeks....) So I feel really good! 3 1/2 weeks after I had Bianca. I feel like I have never been happier in my whole life. Being a mom is the greatest thing and it's taken no changes for me to adjust to this new lifestyle. The only crappy thing is my not wanting to go back to work any time soon. My maternity leave is up July 7th. Suck. I want to make as much money as I can because I want what's best for her, and I would like to not live at home forever! But it's definately difficult thinking that I have to be a good mom, be home and take care of my child, and want that. But then think, no I need to go out and be successful and make money to support my child and THAT will make me a good parent. Ugh. So frustrating. My mom told me not to go back to work until the fall- But I think she doesn't understand that I have got my credit cards up pretty high, which I have to make payments on, and I have a phone bill, and of course, FOOD to pay for. How can I make a lot of money and not put a lot of time in? Or what job could I have that I could bring Bianca to so I don't have to worry about a babysitter? Work in a daycare? Yuck. I am against those in the first place. Dirty. I want to be self supporting and do this on my own, but I also kind of want a really rich husband that will take care of me so I can take care of her. Does that sound so bad? Went into work yesterday to eat with Bianca and my friend Amber. Can't wait to have one of their beers! Current Mood: rejuvenated (1 Comment |Comment on this)